PLANS, PLANS, PLANS

I have a million things to do these days and I have been slowly making progress in striking out entries in my To-Do list. These past few days, I have been working on claiming certain benefits from the SSS. The guy at the counter asked why I was filing the papers only now. How does one explain depression to these people?

Anyhoo, I have a wedding coming up this Saturday (oh, that's tomorrow already!). It will be a double-ceremony thing - one civil, one Muslim. Rather confusing but clients are clients. Never make it appear that you are complaining.

I have been running dry in the creativity department lately because of a mixture of unexplained emotional swings that are blocking my ability to focus on what I am doing. I am starting to hate myself very much. My friend said I must see a shrink. She doesn't know I have been having suicidal ideation but what the heck. I cannot go before my yaya does, 'no. She will be terribly devastated. Besides, nobody will be brave enough to take care of her. One Uncle suggested that I bring her to a home for the aged so I can leave the house any time I want. The nerve. He should be happy his kids didn't have the same ideas.

I am very relieved though that I have finally spoken to a lawyer. Doing so has confirmed everything that i already knew. One, that selling the house in CDO is more complicated than I originally thought it would be. Second, I really have to start talking to my Dad. The legal implications of the sale (inheritance issues, etc) are going to be messy if not handled correctly.

I am still torn between letting go of the CDO property. Aside from the fact that I love that house, I am also wondering if the city where it is located is the place to do business in the future. Besides, I really don't know if I should stay in Manila for long. I mean, any longer. But selling the house has its pluses: I can start life anew and will be totally debt free. God, please help me. Only You know the best things to do.

By December, I will be having 3 or 4 weddings to make. I wish to settle some debts by this time. I have miscalculated in some aspects (I always miscalculate) and I have to focus on making sure I do not default in my payments. Learn from mistakes, Dylan. Learn.

Oh, yes. Last Tuesday, I got a call from this event coordination team who I worked with in my event at the Peninsula Manila and they have asked for some sample designs for a potential 500-guest event at the Makati Shangri-la in February of 2008. Of course I was overjoyed and inis at the same time because they called me on Tuesday and the client presentation was on Wednesday morning. The girl said, "Pasensya na kasi marami akong labahan (laundry) to do lately kaya I forgot to inform you sooner." Kaloka. Of course I was only able to come up with crappy drawings that I wish I will never have to execute or else it'd be the end of me and V.M.

My work process usually finds me in Dangwa where I can see what kind of flowers are available for what season so I know what will work best pero who has time to do that in a moment's notice? I didn't even have time to confer with my florists. Can't blame her though. Now I have to rethink new designs pronto to present to her client before it's too late. Imagine, a 500-guest list! That would mean 42 to 50 tables if ever! Be still, my palpitating heart.

KUMUSTA NAMAN YUN?!

I am not given to saying the title of this entry but today, I have to say it out loud. After days of trying to get the chance to file for an SSS benefit in their office in Alabang, all my efforts at waking up early to get a number (the numbers for Counter 7 run out by 7AM, if you must know), the strong rain this morning downed the PLDT lines in the area and SSS - the mighty insitution which just turned 50 years old last month - went OFFLINE for the day.

F***.

Yeah, I know it's not just me. I mean, there were other folks too who came from remote barrios and boondocks of Laguna but what are the chances, right? Anyway, I was so tired today. Had to go around the metro for many things and I ended up at the Manila City Hall for my grandfather's death certificate (I didn't know he died in Manila until today). The city hall is a chaotic place, but if you want to survive it, you have to keep on asking for directions and what to do next para 'di ka magmukhang tanga. One rule to keep in mind when in government offices: BAWAL ANG MAGTARAY. Talo ka when you are pikon. The system has been like that for decades and there's no point in trying to argue your case with the staff. Get your requirements ready and complete and prepare to wait for hours on end. Keep your cool. Your number will be called eventually.

The thing with waiting is that whether you like it or not, someone will almost always strike a conversation with you and tell you his/her life story. You can choose to ignore at your own risk or you can just nod your head and smile once in a while. At least this will keep you from losing your sanity altogether.

Oh, and another thing. NEVER ask information from the blasted security guards. They are moronic and must be ignored at all cost. Not that it's their fault though.

RANT, RANT, RANT

Last night, time crawled. Literally. The evening seemed interminable and no matter how much I distracted myself it just seemed like I’m going to be stuck in the office so much longer. Every day is a pain now. I have to peel myself from bed just to make it to work on time.

Anyway, I wish to thank Just Jared for keeping me sane for the last 8 hours. Yeah, I do dig Hollywood gossip once in a while. It makes for entertaining reading, although it can become terribly boring after an hour or so. I really just have the attention span of a sperm lately.

It’s almost June and it’s time to shift to high gear for 4 weddings and a funeral – on the 9th, 15th, 16th, and 17th. And the 83rd NCAA on the 23rd. The latter will be my production-design career funeral if I don’t deliver on time.

Much has been said about my ability to worm myself out of a tight fix, but what I really hate is when others put me into one. Like the NCAA project – truly a shining example of others f***ing up and making others carry the brunt of feeling sorry for it. Sample 1: They want me to produce Crusader shields (for Letran) that turn 360 degrees at the arm rest – in two weeks. I mean, seriously! They should try doing it themselves. Last month, I turned down a project to do a product launch set at Crowne Plaza because I only had less than a week to think it up, and execute. That was even easier pero rotating shields? It’s crazy. Lesson 1: If you can’t do it, don’t take it.

Oh, and another headache from NCAA. They want the balloons to look like bombs so the show’s Director asked us to put paper tail fins on them. It wasn’t a demand or anything (“Dream lang naman, baka sakali,” he says but with a look that means “Kung ‘di niyo magagawa, I’d be so disappointed”.) I wouldn’t have violently reacted if the balloons numbered less than 3,000 which currently it is. Production value-wise, I don’t think spectators would appreciate the difference, although yeah, the idea is great but just impossible. Let’s say taping fins / balloon will take 5 minutes, multiply that by 3,000 divided by 60 minutes = 250 hours! I will need 60 people or thereabouts to finish it in 4 hours. And they’re not even willing to pay for manpower, eek! I approached 3 balloon companies and nobody was willing to do it at the budget of Php 50,000 +++ kaya dream on, Direk.

While I am writing this, some guys in Paete Laguna are rushing to meet the deadline for deliverables. I added a few hundreds on top of our negotiated price for the trouble. Pa-consuelo kumbaga. You have to pay good money if you want it fast – and good (Wait, does this apply to ….?). After all, there’s no price tag for good reputation.

I am keeping my fingers crossed. For the meantime, I really REALLY just want to sleep.