Thursday, November 11, 2004

LOSING SOUL

I miss writing.

In fact, blogspot.com has been a complete blessing because not only does it afford me a chance to write again but also allows what I write to be read by friends, and then some.

What I really miss doing most though, is poetry. I've done this stuff since I was kid, jotting down senseless things while waiting at the airport lounge for our delayed flight to be arranged. I wrote more when I was in Don Bosco, driven by this religious fervor that made mad boys out of us (so okay, masturbation was a sin so we might as well be preoccupied with something else).

I can say that I truly matured as a poet (uy, hebigats pare! -> this expression is so 80's!) when I was in Cebu under the "tutelage" of one who was far crazy over writing than I was.

Unfortunately, I cannot share with you even one of those pieces. You know, my old laptop was on its way to me from Cagayan de Oro and Mom decided to check it in. No thanks to the PAL ground crew, the whole thing got stacked along with the other baggages so, voila!

An old laptop with a huge crack, enough to render it useless forever.
I wouldn't have minded it much, you know. I have two new PCs at home but man, oh man! A Why-did-you-allow-this-my-God moment swept over me because 20 of my select poetry are saved in this freaking laptop!!!

I just sat on the floor, staring at my dead 486SX. 5 years of Cebu experiences immortalized (supposedly) in the form of short stories and poetry are now gone. I can almost see them come out of this machine in the form of ether soul, spilling over its faux leather case, finding its way out of the aircraft cargo hold and out into the free air, mixing with deadly oxygen and emitting sparks - their last hurrah, because they shall never see recognition on land.

Sigh.

The Carlos Palanca Award for Poetry has to wait.For now, I'm trying to recollect
my lost soul, hence this new blogspot.


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