Tuesday, July 31, 2007

STOP IT ALREADY

"Triumph" is the operative word of the week. Ugh. I'm starting to run out of adjectives.

TRIBU: A TRIUMPH OF THE EVERYDAY MAN



The triumph of Jim Libiran’s TRIBU at the recently concluded 3rd Philippine Independent Film Festival signals the crossing of Philippine cinema from the elitist to one that is mass-based, with ideas influenced and inspired by ordinary lives and projected onto the screen; not for amusement, I hope, but for better understanding of our society which has been wracked for decades by bias, wars, and apathy.

My only hope is that the interest of writers, directors and cinema in general about the plight of our people, especially that of the poor who compose the majority, is real or else it’d be an exercise in futility. It would a tragedy if the topics in Cinemalaya would just end in the blogosphere or in coffee shops as discourses for the intelligentsia. If cinema is able to make people and systems move in order to effect changes then it has fulfilled its purpose. Only through this can Cinemalaya really live up to its name.

Radioactive Adobo sends its warmest congratulations to Jim Libiran and to all our friends from UP LIRA who, I am pretty sure, are currently sharing his joy. We send our congratulations to the participating tribes, and to the entire production crew. Mabuhay po kayong lahat!

TUGISTA, the rapper group in the film (photo above taken at the UP Creative Writing Center last summer), are our guest performers to close our Poetry Festival 2007. This is sponsored by the Writers Guild of which I am unfortunate to be heading for two years now.

What: Tara Let’s! An evening of music, rap, & poetry
Where: SPi Night Café, City of Parañaque 6PM

Entrance is free. Coffee, butterscotch cookies and brownies will be served. For non-SPi employees, please register via SMS. Text TUG_(your name)_(email) to 0927.447.8781.

CINEMALAYA WHINERS, ER, WINNERS



In festivals like the Cinemalaya, 8 out of 10 members of the audience most probably are critics – self-confessed or otherwise. They sit down with their senses on heightened alert, ever watchful of the film’s details, oftentimes enjoying every lapse and mistake yet ever too willing to share in the limelight for its triumph. I wonder if critics ever get to really enjoy a film without having to tear it into pieces for closer scrutiny.

A friend once said that there are only two kinds of films: the bad and the good ones. But oh, if it were only that easy! Anyway, here are the official list of winners for 2007:

Best Film - TRIBU (Full Length)
Best Film - GABON (shorts)

Best Director - Aureaus Solito for PISAY

Best Actor - TRIBU tribes (collective)
Best Actress - Ina Feleo for ENDO

Audience Choice Awardee - PISAY (Full Length)
Audience Choice Awardee - DOBLE VISTA (Shorts)

Best in Production Design - PISAY

SIONIL! SIONIL!



Topic: History as Literature
Where: Ortigas Foundation Library
When: The Talk will be held on Thursday, August 16 at 6:00 p.m.

ADMISSION IS FREE. For more information please call 631.1231 local 222 or email ortigasfoundation@ortigas.com.ph

___________________________
ABOUT THE SPEAKER

F. (Francisco) Sionil José, founded the Philippine Center of PEN, an international organization of poets,playwrights, essayists, and novelists. His work includes eleven novels, five books of short stories, a book of verse, a collection of stories for children and four books of essays. His five-novel Rosales saga consisting of The Pretenders, Tree, My Brother My Executioner, Mass, and Po-on have been published in the United States and translated in various languages in Asia and Europe.

José has received numerous fellowships, honorary Ph.D’s and awards, which include: the Ramon Magsaysay Memorial Award (1980); the Cultural Center of the Philippines (CCP) Centennial Honors for the Arts (1999); the National Artist Award for Literature (2001); and the Pablo Neruda Centennial Award (2004).

Monday, July 30, 2007

SHORT CHANGED

Had a chance to catch one half (or 5) of the 10 short films in competition at the recently closed Cinemalaya. My, was I disgusted. I am surprised that these things even made the cut.

Some of them are thesis films submitted to either the UP or DLSU film faculties hence the experimental feel to them but this, however, doesn’t mean they can make crap considering that most look like good money was spend in producing them.

The series opened with the most boring of them all, Doble Vista. So much for a starter. Terribly contrived and a total waste of a good idea. Crappy camera work, too. Production values are also way below sea level.

Misteryo ng Hapis is story of a man who still hasn’t come to terms about his being gay and the horrors of the past which includes non-acceptance by his very own father (sounds novel enough, don’t you think?). He ends up mumbling lines repeatedly (I can’t recall them anymore out of sheer boredom) while his mother says the rosary with her friends during the pa-siyam for his father who’s just died.

Incidentally, his dad used to warn him never to join in in the prayers with the suggestion that this may make him gay or something to that effect. The images switch back and forth from the pa-siyam, images of when he was a kid, and a theatre production symbolizing his very own struggles (the character, Jay, is a stage actor here, too, so the use of this technique is acceptable, although tried and tired).

Somehow, I was given an impression that his father’s death – an oppressor – didn’t give him the liberation he greatly deserves. Instead, he is haunted by the memories of him. In the end, one is forced to ask, “So what was the point?”

I am glad though that this was made in pure Capampangan, although the lead star, Andoy Ranay (of Duda/Doubt fame), should have been rehearsed a million times in speaking Capampangan properly. You really can’t have everything.



Nineball disappoints. It’s a case of “Never judge a film by its poster.” I was expecting something totally fun, funny and witty (as judged from the poster, which was very amusing to say the least. No, not this poster I have posted here. They used another one during the exhibit).

It’s a story of Bodyi, a natural born billiards player, whose career – or whatever was left of it – ended the day a ball – the 9 ball, of all things – got, uhm, stuck in one of his nostrils. The ball later was seen, in all its gooey-ness, being hit about on the billiards table.

I mean, seriously, how juvenile!



In this series, only two stood out: Rolyo and Tagapagligtas.

ROLYO is a story of a girl who leads a rather monotonous existence at the farm with her parents. Sometimes she would be sent out into the fields to catch birds to sell in front of the Cathedral on Sundays. There’s a scene there where the nets were the only ones you can see above a sea of talahib. Very nice, methinks.

Anyway, she and her father would paint the birds (this is funny because vendors also do this to chicks these days), and off they go to the Cathedral. The film suffers from really bad lighting compounded by the fact that the weather was also pretty much uncooperative. In fact, if you would look closely, most films in this Cinemalaya, one time or another, have storm clouds brewing in the distance. In last year’s edition, a lot of films were filmed around the location of Malate and Baywalk, but I digress.

I am surprised that they had to take a tricycle to the church. I mean, they only sold one bird and released the rest, I wonder if they earned anything at all! The girl asked her Dad if they can see a movie after they sell the birds (Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code was showing) but ginagabi na sila, says her dad, and buys her two post-New Year horns instead (at Php 30 EACH! Ack!).

Towards the end, the girl was seen uncoiling the horns, made of discarded films negatives, and looking at the images against the candlelight. Awwwww…

Save for some inconsistencies and poor lighting, ROLYO does have its awwwww moments that makes for great potential when improved upon.

Writer ALVIN B. YAPAN has written stories that have received recognition from the Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature (1997, 2002, 2003) and NCCA Writers Prize (2005).



Tagapagligtas is probably the better of the lot. Set in Quiapo – again, ang walang kamatayang Quiapo of ironies – it stars Sid Lucero as Anghel, a Quiapo istambay who brings young, impregnated women to Lupe (Sharmaine Buencamino), who does assisted, pre-term deliveries (abortion, if you must). Indulge me but cliché-ish as it may seem, we can opt to tag Anghel as Anghel ng Kamatayan.

Lupe goes about her usual business, visits the church, lights candles, and comes home to do her operations. All this ended, presumably, when Anghel got her only daughter, Cristina, played by a rather forgettable actress, pregnant. The poor girl tried to do abortion procedures on herself and died from the attempt.

Parang, okay. How ironic. It’s something straight out of a tabloid, from start to finish (Headline: ANAK NG ABORTIONIST, PATAY!).

So, who is the real tagapagligtas here? The Nazareno of Quiapo? Lupe? Anghel? The irony of it all?

Your guess is as good as mine.

My two regrets: One, bothering to spend Php 100 to see the 1st half. Two, easily giving up and not seeing the second half because it has 2005’s best director in the short film category (not that he was officially hailed “best”; I am entitled to my own opinion), Lawrence Fajardo of Bacolod City, whose entry, Kultado*, was a film of strength, utter rawness, and excellent storytelling. And the editing… [swoons]

I hope Mr. Fajardo forgives me for my tendency to generalize. Please know that you have in me a most devoted fan. As for the rest, best of luck for Cinemalaya 2008!

*Won the Grand Jury Prize in 2005



Poster credits: Cinemalaya Official Website

BE STILL, MY BEATING HEART



This was the Cinemalaya entry I considered my personal film, the favorite. It was like it spoke to me, even to the point of rebuking me and my life choices, questioning all the decisions – good or bad – that I have made in my life.

I was in tears 15 minutes into the film and maybe the rest of the audience was in agreement, too, because people can’t seem to get over it even while we lined up to buy tickets for the next film. I had a chance to chat with the brother of the owner of Barbara’s, the official caterer, over lunch and insider information says this was CCP people’s “emotional favorite”, whatever that means. I mean, undeniably, the emotional pull was just too much to ignore. The tears were both for the sadness and the joy, the fall and the triumph of the film. Wait, I’m getting carried away. I should be mean, but I can’t help it. Lead actor, Ron Capinding who plays James Masino, is a natural! Short, almost frail looking, he has the deep voice and the strong resolve of an actor who has taken over his character completely. You cannot not commiserate with his character – an artist who found out he was afflicted by Guillain-Barré Syndrome, autoimmune disease which would make him a paralytic for life and thus make him stop painting, his only reason for being.

I digress here for a bit. GBS is supposed to be an ascending paralysis, but the film showed James showing weakness in his right hand first before he was shown falling in the latter part of the film. Respiratory weakness is also very common in half of the cases (but not a hallmark) and yet James was able to run around the island with the girl, Emma (GMA7’s Glaiza de Castro) without succumbing until after the day was done making an audience member remark, "Ayan, pinagod mo kasi!". Now moving on…

James decides to go to his friend’s vacation house on a far-away island to say farewell to his family (by leaving behind three paintings dedicated to them) and die. He actually meant to do the latter by slashing his right wrist, but he never comes around to doing it. The struggle is clearly evident and registers pretty well on Ron’s countenance. The audience feels a mixture of emotions ranging from awa to doing the fighting back for the character.



All these frustrated attempts to end his life, well, ended when Emma arrives at the guest house. She cleaned after James, cooked breakfast, questions his art and his views of art (“Kapag hindi malungkot, hindi art!” is one of James’ most memorable lines but this depends on one’s persuasions).

Anyway, to cut the story short, both had the chance to open, enter, and share each other’s live so much so that in the end, James thanks Emma for saving his life.

If you think this would end happily like some tragic stories do (say, isn’t that an irony?), you are completely mistaken. A twist in the story ensues when a flashback showed Emma running after a baby rattle – that of her baby which she gave up for adoption by the very doctor who stopped her from having it aborted – and got hot by a bus and was sped to the hospital. In a parallel universe technique meant to show two events happening concurrently, James was discovered half-dead on the island (he eventually decided to cut his wrist after all) and he wakes up to his sleeping mother beside him. The mother turns out to be Irma Adlawan, the same doctor who adopted Emma’s son!

Turned out, James had been fighting a long, long battle with GBS. Like most artists, there is the angst – a de rigueur among the lot, so it seems – that has made him decide to end it all because what’s the point of living if he couldn’t paint anyway? The raison d’etre would have been lost. Emma turned out to be the same young woman who gave up her baby to Irma Adlawan, and died of the same bus accident in 1976 (James probably was around 35 in this setting) hence making Emma James’ mother – a blast from the past where Emma “returns” to her son to save him just as she promised to return to him 35 years or so ago but was cut short by the accident!

Fantastic, ‘di ba? Grabe talaga ang storytelling style ni Katsky! Panalo!

Kudos to Glaiza for breaking expectations (I was half expecting acting a la Starstruck) and coming up with a moving portrayal of Emma, the most important character in this film because of the pivotal role she was to play later on. I sure would love to see her in future film projects. Very soon, I hope.



I have no regrets choosing STILL LIFE over SINUNGALING NA BUWAN which I am sure has its merits as well pero I’d rather have this than trouble myself with three love stories in SINUNGALING. The only remaining two questions I had were, first, will this film cross over to mainstream? I seriously doubt it because Ron Capinding is a veritable unknown to the larger viewing public (but then again, so was Nathan Lopez of Maximo Oliveros!). Will the excellent story and word of mouth carry it over to the other side? I pray to God this will be so. The second question is how did this film affect my life? That deserves its own blog entry, he he he!

Ron, as I soon found out, is an actor pala of Tanghalang Ateneo (‘di ba member din si blogger Mcvie nito?) and has played a wide range of roles from Romeo (in Romeo and Juliet, 1992) to a maniac (Anarkista, 2006). This very well explains his great acting in STILL LIFE. Even Neil Ryan Sese didn’t have this great a debut in Aishite Imasu (2004) where he conveniently disappeared among the cast as a Japanese guard, and he wasn’t even the star of the show in Maximo Oliveros either. Sad. Another Jaclyn Jose in the making, underrated and unappreciated. Oi, huwag naman sana po. Saying ang talent.

Anyway, we can only watch and wait for more good news for STILL LIFE. It definitely is up against ENDO and TUKSO for the Best Film plume. I am dying of anticipation!

Katrina Flores, you are so up there together with Auraeus Solito, Jon Red, Paolo Villaluna, Ellen Ramos, Mark Meily, Ellen Ongkeko-Marfil and the rest of the next generation of Philippine film greats!

Mabuhay po kayo! Sana bumalik po kayo next year!

Photo & stills credits: Glaiza de Castro Official Site

Coming up next on Radioactive Adobo: A sleeper film to close the festival.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE

Manila, or at least those in the know, are all agog over the killer speed at which film festivals have opened recently. Of course the current favorite is the ongoing Cinemalaya Philippine Independent Film Festival, already on its 3rd year. So far, I know of 4 or 5 films which have already crossed over to mainstream – Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros, Big Time, & Donsol to name three. So far, I have already seen Tukso (by Dennis Marasigan) and the world premiere of the much-lambasted (at least in the lavatories after the screening) film version of Nadres’ Hanggang Dito Na Lamang at Maraming Salamat. Next on my list are Endo and Pisay, the latter by award-winning director Aureos Solito.

Overheard in one of CCP’s lavatories:

Man 1: Oi, what do you think of it (Hanggang Dito Na Lamang…) ?
Man 2: May he (Nadres) rest in peace! (shivers after peeing)

Man 3: Thank God he (Nadres) isn’t alive to see it! (bitchy chuckle)

(Clue: Man 1 is a director whose recent films have all been monstrous flops.)

I think these are the “best” reviews yet of the film, and anything else that you’d read in the papers later on will surely be mere pats-on-the-back. Poor Lito Tañada. To think that this was his dream project since he saw the theatre production in the 70’s. Music by Willy Cruz was a tad too cliché-ish and repetitive. Production, however, is good save for some props that are way too conveniently placed within an arm’s reach. Nonie Buencamino is fantastic as always, but he seemed to have just rehashed his character from 1994’s Sibak. You hardly notice the difference. Jon Santos as Julie was a blast! He practically saved the film from sinking into total oblivion. Newbie Jerwin Mercado is too mono. He hardly has character. The film itself was long and meandering. Haaay. And don't get me started on the film poster, gawd...

Tukso (Dennis Marasigan) suffers from comparison with Rashomon. Of course those who haven’t seen the latter would care less about comparisons. Tukso, however, has its brilliant moments. The storytelling is fluid, almost tight, with a smattering of amusing scenes that made the audience holler in delight (like the way Irma Adlawan let loose her hair when Ping Medina agreed to spend the rainy night in her house; the innuendo is delicious and hard to miss!). Of course, this story was about the tragedy that has befallen the main character, Monica, who got herself pregnant by a Manila-based architect (Sid Lucero) and fell to her death – the main issue the film was trying to resolve. For the sake of those who haven’t seen it I will not say who caused her to fall, but suffice to say that there was enough suspense buildup to keep people on the edge of their seats. If the triumphant applause at the end of the screening is anything to go by, I suspect Tukso will fall within Top 3 of the winning circle.

Anyway, two weeks from now, on August 8, the 9th edition of the Cinemanila International Film Festival will open in its new home, Araneta’s Gateway Mall. I just confirmed it from an officemate, who is on the organizing team, that Quentin Tarantino is actually coming to town to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award. I suspect an anthology of his films will be done on the sidelines of the festival.

Anyway, the meanest of comments came from a column in Manila Times: “Famed Director Quentin Tarantinto is coming to Manila to shoot a film with Sharon Cuneta entitled Kill Bilbil.”

It’d be a box-office hit, no doubt.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

'ALANG KUWENTA

Got this from Ruby's blog.

What is the color of your phone? Blue and silver.
Who’s the first person who comes under the letter M? Mahros, a former Bayan Muna member and a former officemate at SPi; a very good friend.
Who’s the last person you called? Balance Inquiry. I hardly make calls.
Who was your last missed call from? Shaun Torres, who is in Manila for a working visit.
Who’s the 2nd person who comes up under D? Direk Pat Perez.
Who’s speed dial number 2? Reload. Ha ha!
Who’s the third person who comes up under J? Jerome Daclison, the other Jerome.
Who was your last received call? JP Canivel, my Workshop Manager.
Who’s speed dial number 3? Load Advisory. I just found out today.
What is your background? The default skin.
How many text messages do you have? 61, mostly notes I might find use for in the future.
What does the fifth message in your inbox say? It’s a line I sent to myself that read, “Ingatan ang kinabukasan / Na ngayo’y tangan tanga mo.” Don’t ask me what it’s about.
Who’s the first person under B? Balance Inquiry. Is it becoming obvious that I have a fear of running out of text credits?
Who was your last text message from? Myself. It’s a line I intend to use in an article (“I hope the interest of cinema in the plight of the poor is sincere; otherwise, it would be an exercise in futility.”) Shet, ang profound.
Name every person you have text messages from. Myself, Cholo, Mike, Ed, BT, JP, Ate Jopie, Mahros, Sam,Teng.
Who’s the ninth person on your missed call list? Mike of The Mango Farm.
What does the sixth message in your Sent Folder say? It got erased. Tsuri.
Who’s the first name in your phonebook? Abe Baclig, a family friend from Bukidnon, my Mom’s foster Dad during her Del Monte days.
Who is the last name in your phonebook? Don’t laugh, but it’s the zip code of Las Piñas. I always forget it.
Do you have a camera phone? I used to. I gave it away to a taxi driver. Without my knowledge, of course, and not that was I was willing, no.
Who is the last friend under G? Ma’am Guilds, faculty member of Xavier University. One of Mom’s best friends.
What does the last text message in your inbox say? Numbers of the CBCP Commission on Youth.
Who is the second person under K?
Kate Cadalin, a friend from medical school.
What is your ringtone? Toreador.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME

I pity Koko Pimentel.

His is a case of having the cotton candy snatched from his hands when he was about to bite into it.

What’s more saddening is that he actually lost to Miguel Zubiri in his own hometown of Cagayan de Oro. If this is true, then his political career is a goner.

The spectre of the same failure – he also lost in his mayoralty bid in CDO in 2001 – looms like the ghost of Christmas past or the ghost of Elections past, if I may say so. Koko has a lot to learn from his failures. He has to get out of his father’s shadow and make a name for himself. At the very least, he should try very hard to not inherit his father’s terrible eye bags. The poor Senator looks like he’s had enemas one too many. Don’t get me wrong. I respect him even if I have an axe to grind with him over the Local Government Code which he wrote. But “inherit” being the operating word here, Koko probably is not going to win the war on that one, too.

I’m being mean.

Anyway, what’s important now, really, is that no matter who gets proclaimed, Mindanao and its people wins as both gentlemen come from the resource-rich island.

Friday, July 20, 2007

AW, SHUCKS!

I haven’t splurged on DVD for a long, long time now. Believe me.

I think my purchases are now, at the very least, 2 months apart.

The only time I bought some was when a friend from Cebu, S.A., went to the US for the usual familiarization tour (he owns a travel agency) and I had him find some titles for me. One of the gems he brought home was Finian’s Rainbow. It was released in 1968 and was Fred Astaire’s last major movie musical. It also stars Petula Clark (of “Downtown” fame; I love that song!). Need I mention that this was directed by Francis Ford Coppola?

Anyway, my interest in this film was not because of the above-mentioned information (which I found out only while writing this entry) but because this was the film my Mother would wanted to watch again before she died.

And the DVD copy came 4 months too late.

Wait… Hold on a sec.

(Pause)

Okay, I’m back.

A few weeks ago, while I was at the Farm, I noticed a VCD of this film lying around and it hit me, why didn’t I ask friends in Manila if they have a copy of it? I could have just borrowed it way, way back when Mom was still alive!

One lesson I learned is, sometimes all one needs to do is ask.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

PSSST...ALAM MO BA?

I rarely delve into gossip but when I do, oh boy!

Anyway, I did mention the shoot I did for Vice Mayor Isko Moreno’s show in an earlier post, right? Right. The shoot took all of 25 hours to finish (one episode) because the stars (or whatever they’re called these days) took their sweet time in making sure there will be retakes. The camera crew just closed their eyes and heaved sighs of resignation.

I mean, what a waste of film! And we’re talking about High Definition cameras here. I was hardly star struck with two young artistas who came unprepared. One only had two sets of clothes! I gave the wardrobe coordinator one of my famous glares for this unforgivable oversight.

They only had two appearances and approximately 10 lines to memorize and yet it took more than 10 shoots (re-shoots) before they finally got them right. The director didn’t blow her top. She was very subtle in her show of disapproval, however, and vowed never to employ Startstruck people again. In silence, we all agreed with her. There are many other out-of-the-loop but far better actors who need work.

I had a brilliant idea a week after this shoot. I will write a script for the next episodes. I want to change Philippine television.

Chos.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

ENVY, THY NAME IS...

I envy my friend Cholo. I mean, he gets to do what he wants.

When do I get to do what I want? I digress.

Anyway, he’s a costume jewelry designer based in Angeles City and in between beading gowns or drinking beer with friends, he also writes.

All I’m able to write lately is wee bits of information on my travel blog, Superpasyal, and on marketing posters I make for my club at work. At least I am getting good at making marketing collaterals. I am my own Ogilvy.

Back to Cholo, he’s weaved an amusing story of four families (his blog title is Cuatros Familias) whose names start with honorifics worthy of Buckingham Palace. I can see some promise in his work because if ABS-CBN, that producer of the kitschiest of shows on earth, gets its hands on his material, he’d be filthy rich in no time. At the very least, he can finally open that dream atelier of his.

I salute you, Cholo. Keep on writing.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

HOLA, SEñORES! QUE TAL?

I haven’t updated this blog for 2 weeks since I got home from Singapore. So much for calling it a blog. How can one keep it running without feeding it? No wonder my readership has fallen to Hades-levels enough to reconsider my plan of closing this site down and just relish the memory of what once was.

Anyway, a warm hello to all of you again. I haven’t really been busy lately save for the shooting for Vice Mayor Isko Moreno’s upcoming TV show on RPN9 but that being out of the picture, I’m back to my graveyard schedule and staying in bed all day long (or until 1PM, actually).

Oh, yeah. I’ve learned something new lately. I already know how to use Yahoo Messenger! Okay, okay. Pathetic, ‘di ba? I mean, in this day and age of XDAs and Blackberries (which is very good on wheat bread especially if you use the St. Dalfour brand), learning YM is almost like starting on the first rung of the ladder while everyone else has already moved on to the next floor.

Which goes without saying, of course, that one can still teach old dogs like me new tricks. I am online, especially during afternoons (not on a daily basis), to communicate with my co-officers at work. This saves me much on the effort of going to work early for near-useless meetings only to be confounded by the lack of work to do.

Anyway, updates.

My Yaya is feeling so much better now (she claims to be). She doesn’t need the oxygen tank as much as she used to so thank God, really, for this. And yes, Selina, too, for her generosity of heart. I haven’t thanked her enough. She’s still mad at me, I think.

Anyway, she loved the scarf I gave her from Malaysia and she uses it especially lately when the weather’s really, really cold for an old lady like her. My two Aunts have received their pasalubongs and they’re happy with them.

Work remains to be a non-issue. Nothing new ever happens there so I won’t bore you with details, or the lack thereof.

I’m still crying but not every day as I used to. It’s been 5 months now since Mom left me. Oh wait, I’m going to cry again. Drat.

(Pause)

I’m back.

Okay, the NCAA went very well. I was up to my neck in stress that day as I was still asleep when they needed me, ha ha! Thank God for kind taxi drivers who know how to step on the gas when they needed to. I got to Araneta from Las Piñas in one hour and a half, would you believe? I had one stop in Manila to claim the 195-yard black fabric I ordered just a day before. The poor old sewer didn’t sleep the whole night to put it all together (I paid her Php 2,000 for the effort). By the way, the fabric was used to cover the dragon used during the NCAA opening so as not to spoil the surprise before the show. Yun lang naman ang use niya. Aarrrghhh! It’s now at home and I don’t know what to do with it. I could roll around it perhaps or wrap myself in it and walk around my village at noon time, ha ha! Me and my crazy ideas. These are obviously ideas of the bored and insane.

What worries me is that I haven’t been paid yet and the rent is due next week. I am not the kind of person to badger, but as the rent date nears I will definitely start doing just that.

I am looking forward to traveling again in September to take advantage of the Php 1 plane fare of 5J. It’s my only way to keep my sanity. DVDs are not working anymore and I haven’t read a book in many, many months despite the fact that I am the lead promoter of reading in my workplace. I am hardly the poster boy for this project but hey, all my books are in bookcases at the HR Office right now. More than 200 readers have borrowed since we launched it last April. Some of the new books there I haven’t even read yet. They’d be in tatters once they get back to me. The 88th Manila International Book Fair is coming up in September. I am very excited to go. Let me know if you want tag along. Call me.

A series of writing workshops are coming up at work starting August 8. I don’t know what you’re going to do with this useless piece of information I just gave you. Suffice to say that my club is giving it.

I have been reading some Cebuano’s blog this dawn during downtime and realized what a difference it makes to actually have a parent (or parents) to guide you as you grow up. There’s always the challenge to be a better person, to be better at what you do. Mom always said that the only thing she wanted me to be is a better person who lives a normal life. I never really got to ask her what she meant exactly. I know now though.

The problem with being along is that you almost don’t have anybody to talk to. I find myself talking to, uhm, myself all the time – in the shower, while taking a poo, while walking, on public transports. Am I crazy? Please assure me that I’m not.

It suddenly dawned on me that writing this entry is akin to talking to myself because I absolutely have no legion of readers to speak of, ah ha ha ha!

Be afraid. Be very afraid.